Fear, Abandonment, and Shame

 After reading a couple books about shame by Curt Thompson, I’ve been made more aware of shame.    Shame is insidious, quietly executing its plan.  I need to be aware of it, in every relationship I have.  I can give shame, and others can shame me.  Jesus knows all about of fear, abandonment, and shame. 

Page 224 in the Anatomy of the Soul, Curt Thompson described it so well.  (I’m going paraphrase)

“Jesus’s family had to flee to Egypt to escape Herod.  His parents rebuked him for staying in Jerusalem when he was enjoying dialogue going with the teachers of the law.  His family’s dismissal and condescension toward him.  The scoffing of those who thought his healing and offering of forgiveness incredulous, and to threatening for the established economic and political structures.  His followers abandonment of him, Judas betrayal, Peter’s expletive denial that he knew Jesus.  And yet through all this Jesus paid attention to the his Father’s voice.  His whole earthly life God has reminded him of the way the world is, not the way it appears to be on the surface.  From the cross, he still speaks into the darkness of evil, confident he is heard by a Father who is mindful and responsive to him despite evidence to the contrary.”  “Father, forgive them, for they do not now what they are doing.”  Luke 23:34. “At the height of his suffering, Jesus mind remains clear, extending to them what they most desperately need, forgiveness.”

This is an area, I need to grow in.  When bad things happen to my family or friends or this country, I sometimes doubt God.  I can be like Eve, and change the storyline.  Tell a different story, than the one God is writing.  Instead, I need to trust God he is enough, in any of these dilemmas.  I need to commune with him, listen to his voice, read his word, turn to him with hope in all these things in life that trouble me deeply.  I want to be like Jesus, facing hard things, knowing God knows my thoughts, my struggles, and will be right there with me and my family, and the body of Christ, through it all.  

Curt Thompson “Anatomy of the Soul”

   I’ve been reading Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson.  This paragraph he wrote shows in a precise way, what in part I’ve learned from the book.

  Page 87.  “Sometimes we are not paying attention, but God does not cease his pursuit.  He whispers again, inviting us to meet with him, to wrestle, to complain, and to weep.  When we are finished, he gently asks again,   What are you doing here?  Each time he asks, we tell our story differently, for now it must include the experience of hearing a Voice telling us that we are not alone.  And hearing that voice will change our memories and the way we live our futures.

  This has really been amazing to me, to focus on God’s love for me.  Trusting him to take care of me, trusting he knows everything I’m thinking and feeling.  Turning to him in time of trouble, trusting he hears me.  He will rescue me.  

Marriage Poem by Khalil Gibran

 Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Stand together yet not too near together

For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.